I have been trying to articulate exactly how I feel with my youngest of two daughters graduating High School. I am excited for her and I know she is going to go out and make amazing things happen in her life but I am also feeling deeply sad. Some people have understood and others haven’t. I have struggled putting into words how I feel so sad at a time where I am also so very proud.
I am sad that there will be no more dress up make believe times at my house with my two little girls.
I have explained it to a few of my closest friends and family like this:
For the past 20 years I have been reading this incredible book, the best book I have EVER read.
This book was described on the back cover to be the most wonderful adventure of my entire life.
With each chapter I read I could somewhat anticipate what to expect. The book takes me through the lives of these two amazing little girls. They go from babies to toddlers, then to pre-k and elementary school. There are all the things you can imagine in this story too. They learn to smile, learn to walk, have their first birthday and say their first word. There are little girl giggles and sparkles galore.
They get involved in sports like tennis, cheerleading, softball, and soccer. There are fun times skating, snow tubbing, swimming and more. There is coloring and baking, dress up and play pretend. There are chapters on the love of family and chapters on friends, chapters of faith and chapters of grief.
The book goes on through middle school dances and slumber parties. There are best friends and secret crushes. There are movie nights and beach trips, music lessons and dance. There are card games and board games, camping and cookouts.
The story continues through makeup and braces, highlights and haircuts. There is school work and school trips, chorus concerts and Bieber concerts.
When High School comes along it seems like no time has passed. While the girls are much older there are times where for just a second time seems to have frozen and the giggles and laughter continue on through more slumber parties and dances, girls nights and girl talk. There are Friday Night Lights and great nights with friends.
The best parts of this story I can’t even put into words.
This book really is the most wonderful adventure of my whole life.
As the final chapter begins to close with the college search and graduation I find myself feeling quite sad to lay this book down.
I know there is another volume in this series but you see when I have looked at the back of the upcoming book the description is unwritten. There is no synopsis to sum up the plot of that next volume, there is no description of what to expect.
I am not sure if that next book will be as good as the last one. It could be better but better is hard to imagine at this point from where I am today. When you have finished the BEST book how can you imagine one better?
I told my daughter today, following her graduation, that I imagined that the reason there was no summary on the back of that upcoming book was because the book is indeed blank for a reason.
I honestly hadn’t come to that realization before today.
The book is intentionally left blank so that she may pick it up and begin to write the very best book that she will EVER read and that I will surely enjoy reading that book along with her as she writes it.
I realized today that my book that I have been reading started precisely after I graduated high school. I was a young mother at 19 and this book I have been reading was that one that I wrote.
While this book has been the most wonderful adventure of MY life I do hope for a little different adventure for my girls. While this story was the best story for me, I CAN imagine an even better story for them and I now cannot wait to begin reading it.
My wish for my girls is that they see this blank book as the opportunity to take it and make the most incredible story ever written.
I will cherish this last book of 20 years and hold it close to my heart forever. I am anxious and excited to get wrapped up in the next books as they unfold before me.
To my now adult daughters, I have never loved anyone more than you, I cannot imagine my life without you and I thank God every day for blessing me beyond measure when He gave me you. I love you more than the stars love to shine in the night time sky, more than the waves love to crash into the shore and more than the butterflies love their flowers. You are the greatest story ever told.