I just completed my second 5K this past weekend! I love races, once they are over, but I am not yet loving the feeling of the race it's self!
After the race is over I feel invigorated and accomplished. I love this part!! This feeling makes the race completely worth it.
Before the race, however, I am anxious, nervous and all worked up. So much so that I feel queasy...
During the race I can feel so competitive, so much so that when I'm passed by a faster runner I feel defeated! I want to quit.
So far I have finished the races meeting, actually exceeding, my personal goal each time. I have finished 5th in my division on the first race and 7th in my division on this last race. This is great!! I have no reason to complain and after the race when I realize how well I did I feel so amazing!
The difference is though that on my morning runs it is just me and the road, none of this emotion affects me! I have no reason to get worked up before I run and I do not feel competitive during my run. I always feel at ease and refreshed when it is just me, running and nothing else.
I enjoy completing 5K's, I am even starting to train for a 10K, because it does help me gauge how I am doing and helps me in setting goals to keep going farther, faster, etc. I just really want to get past the nervous build up before and perceived pressure throughout the race.
I read this week that "Comparison is hurtful. Run YOUR miles at YOUR speed. Run YOUR race, run for YOUR reasons. Do not compare yourself or your running to anyone else's. Be inspired by others; let their passion for running fuel your desire. Do not let it make you feel less than or doubtful. It's you vs. you and your miles, your reasons, your pace... they matter. YOU are an inspired runner! Keep Running!"
I so needed to read that!!
As I ran this weekend in that race and little by little watched faster runners pass me I had to remind my self (often) that I was running my own race. The race is actually a competition with myself rather than with others! There will always be faster runners. I must work to run faster then my last race and run stronger than before and focus only on that!
I hope one day these races won't affect me the way they do now. I plan to keep at it until they no longer do and then keep going at it some more :)